On Thursday, I had to call the doctor because I had been experiencing a lot of abdominal pain that radiated up my legs and created a "belt of pain" with every step I took. The appointment took place after school (3:30pm)and I had the kids with me. (Nothing says I need professional help or a lot of medication like taking your children who have spent a whole day in school with you into a physicians office for a work up!) After taking some blood, pushing on my stomach and asking "where does it hurt" he said "I want to see what we are dealing with" and he sent me to the hospital, next door, for "tests." Tests are fun, aren't they? They aren't just testing your blood or your bones or muscles or anything...I think, secretly, they are testing your "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME" factor.
First, I had to go through admissions. The lady was perfectly lovely, but for the love of all that is good and holy, could there BE any more pages of information to fill out, sign, proof and approve of? I felt like I was taking out a loan! (Test: Can the patient remember all of his/her information from one form to the next? Can the patient remember their initials? Does the patient realize that they ahve to fill our many of the same forms and we make additional copies of these just in case we loose them? Does the patient realize that all of this is pointless and this is just a waiting game that someone is using in their doctoral thesis as an experiment?) Then, when the admissions process is done, you get to go back into the first in a long series of waiting rooms. (Test: How much time will it take for the patient to come up to the desk and say "How much longer might this take?") I waited and waited (with children) in a lonely, empty waiting room. Finally, when their barage of questions and my tone in repeating "Don't touch that," "No, they won't take ALL of my blood," and "You two are not allowed to talk to eachother" had reached a fever pitch, a guy came out and LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM before he called out "Liberty Bennett." (Seriously?!) Next, the "blood guy" takes me back to the stool and begins setting up his...uh...blood stuff. So, he is setting it up and I let him know that I have bad veins and if he will use a butterfly, he will find a vein that he can keep without it collapsing or rolling. He seizes me up and takes out the first of three needles he will try to use, because, he is sure, I don't know what I am talking about. So, the third time is the charm and I just have extra arm holes. Who can't use more arm holes?
Remember, while this is going on, my children are nearby and constantly coming and watching me and going back to the waiting room where I hear "I told you they were going to take ALL her blood"..."Mom said we can't talk to eachother"..."I am not talking to you...STARTING NOW!" (Test: You can see what was being tested in this one, right?) After that, I was lead to another room. This waiting room was in radiology. When you have to go into a radiologist, wear a parka!
While the kids and I are waiting, huddled together for warmth, (and counting the seconds until Jason will be there to take the children home) I am given a drink. As I am about to say, "no thank you, I am fine," the lady says, "you have to drink this within the next 1/2 hour and then you get another one." Ohhh! This doesn't smell good. So, I am trying to put on a brave face and take a huge gulp. All I can say is that my gag reflex has been tested and is in tact and functioning...well. "Mom! I want some!" "Is it really gross? Is it like pee gross...cause it looks like pee to me?" "EWWW! You are making my Mom drink pee?" "Mom, you look like you are mad or sick? Are you mad at me or sick of the pee drink?" "Is dad here yet? I am hungry."
***Salvation arrives, not in the form of a GOOD tasting drink, but in the form of Jason. I really don't know if I have ever been so glad to see him before. ***
When at last I am allowed to leave the radiologist I have to wait on my doctor to return and talk to me, it is 7:37pm. He says he does not know what it is but that there are cysts on my ovary. I tell him this is not unusual, I have had them before but they have never felt like this but I will take his word for it. Ready to leave, he says that he is not sure eventhough this is what he saw...come back tomorrow for ultrasounds. Ok, I tell him but please schedule it from 11 - 12 or after school so I don't have to find a substitute teacher for my room. If this could not be done, I asked, please call me as soon as there is a time so that I can inform my supervising teacher. He says it is not a problem. I go home. Unfilled perscription in my hand...tired, I collapse into bed. "How did it go? What is wrong with you," Jason asks.... "ughhhhhhhh...goodnight."
So, we are back to today, which is now yesterday as of an hour and six minutes ago. As you will recall, I requested certain times or a phone call. At 10:15, 3rd period, I receive a call. "Mrs. Bennett?" "Yes." "Come to radiology." "Excuse me?" "It is time for you to come to radiology, we are working you in so come in right now." "I am sorry, I can't come now, I am teaching a class." (sigh from the person on the phone) "I really am sorry, I asked for a time during my planning period or after school...I can't leave just now." "Well, come as soon as you can. We are working you in you know." "Thank you, I really am sorry. I just really needed some notice." "Drink 40 ounces of water before you come and don't void." "You mean pee?" "Yes, don't void." "Ok."
An hour later I floated to the hospital and got in and out pretty quickly. However, not quickly enough. I had to have the regular ultrasound and then the other kind. Ladies, you know what kind I mean. As much fun as that was, I returned just in time for my 5th period and thus finished my day worse than I began it. To add insult to injury, they still don't know what is wrong. The guesses are: cyst, apendicitis, or diverticulitis.
At any rate, after school today/yesterday, we have to stay at school till 4:00 and Joseph had to eat and get to his game by 5:00...so we RAN. (That hurt!) Coming home by 8:15pm, the kids ate again, showered and went to bed (with no arguments.) Now, it is 1:18am and I am tired, but can't sleep.
The good side of this is that you now have an insight into my day. I really hope that this made you laugh. It makes me laugh...now... after the fact. That was my day - How was your day? No, really, I want to know.... Seriously. :o)
